i dont know where to start. im on this spiritual journey, and one of the people who is leading me there is slowly but surely making me fall in love with him, but i dont know in what sense. i dont know if i just love him for being there or if i love him in a way that i want to be with him both emotionally and physically. the worst of it is he isnt in love with me in that way, but rather with my best friend here who is in love with someone who is 32489023 away. the great thing is that this one who is so far loves her back, so her story has a happy ending (or rather, happy current, because end doesnt necessarily exist), and now the other knows he can't have her. but i will not let myself be a backup, but im scared that if i continue to think this way i will never allow myself to be happy because people are always in love with others before they meet you, but people change.
im confused and trying to let go of some of the old me to make room for the new.
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